okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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