Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
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