They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together