If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them