and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
