We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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