I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
