I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
