its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
