There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
