its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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