It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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