I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
