I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
