Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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