and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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