I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
