Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
