Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
