Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
