what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i believe in u and ur pee
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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