organizing the empties. That sober.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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