9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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