it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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