youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now