Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

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  (240): Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use. http://tfl.nu/hbuk
  Replies (15) Good night (641) Bad night (2592)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm jealous

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My throat feels like a candle.

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  (270): T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English. (1-270): I'm jealous (270): My throat feels like a candle. http://tfl.nu/vpw9
  Replies (31) Good night (7673) Bad night (860)
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  (646): View more from New York

  So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?

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  (646): So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name? http://tfl.nu/3tte
  Replies (6) Good night (764) Bad night (3700)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?

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  (979): Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"? http://tfl.nu/w79j
  Replies (148) Good night (6079) Bad night (1156)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.

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  (540): I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him. http://tfl.nu/377w
  Replies (31) Good night (1670) Bad night (5883)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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  (317): well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night http://tfl.nu/od6j
  Replies (19) Good night (1581) Bad night (6305)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

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  (646): I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot. http://tfl.nu/r2lr
  Replies (17) Good night (6384) Bad night (1004)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free

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  (734): It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free http://tfl.nu/3j31
  Replies (8) Good night (4450) Bad night (1500)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?

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  (970): You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you? http://tfl.nu/r91h
  Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (2616)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed

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  (217): We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed http://tfl.nu/j4f4
  Replies (4) Good night (2057) Bad night (775)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.

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  (404): Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/3in8
  Replies (2) Good night (1584) Bad night (602)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats

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  (519): I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats http://tfl.nu/z216
  Replies (13) Good night (1314) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?

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  (301): That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit? http://tfl.nu/b6j9
  Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.

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  (907): I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/mxr7
  Replies (6) Good night (921) Bad night (314)
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  (235): View more from

  if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?

  (366): View more from

  except your soul

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  (235): if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right? (366): except your soul http://tfl.nu/vptx
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (566)

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