On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
