Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
