Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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