Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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