she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
