hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
