Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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