Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You need Xanax blowdarts
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize