I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
