The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
