Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
