the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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