bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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