I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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