I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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