He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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