Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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