I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
