She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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