I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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