I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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