Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
