ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
