I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
