Do vagina's smell?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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