I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
