i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
