soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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