god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
