just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Do vagina's smell?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
