I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
