I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The uberlube is also flammable
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
