And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
