How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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