Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
