***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
