And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
