do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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