Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Vodka?
Forever.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
