just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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