All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
