I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Drake has all the answers
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
